Why Planning Sex Just Might Make It Hotter
Psychology Today
Planning sex can make it better and more frequent, especially for busy parents. It helps build anticipation and shows care, making the experience more exciting. Talking openly and setting aside time can boost connection without feeling like a chore.
31 May 2026
• Couples that learned to value planning sex actually had more sex (about 28% more). • They also reported increased desire, which was surprising given that most people tend to idealize spontaneous sex and devalue planned sex. • On average, they didn’t feel more pressured or obligated; in fact, they felt less pressured to have sex.
In other words, shifting your mindset about planned intimacy can boost not only your frequency but also your connection.
And while spontaneity is all well and good, planning sex may protect intimacy from the chaos of modern life. You might think about it as another tool in your intimacy toolbox.
The goal isn’t to make sex another “task,” but to intentionally create space for it, just like you do for dinner, rest, the gym, a vacation, or anything else important to your well-being and relationships.