The Manual

If you wish to have peace and contentment, release your attachment to all things outside your control. This is the path of freedom and happiness. If you want not just peace and contentment, but power and wealth too, you may forfeit the former in seeking the latter, and will lose your freedom and happiness along the way.

Begin with little things. Is some oil spilled or wine stolen? Say to yourself, “Accepting these annoyances is the price of my peace and tranquility. All good things come at a cost.”

If you are praised by others, be skeptical of yourself. For it is no easy feat to hold onto your inner harmony while collecting accolades. When grasping for one, you are likely to drop the other.

Continually remind yourself that you are a mortal being, and someday will die. This will inspire you not to waste precious time in fruitless activities, like stewing over grievances and striving after possessions.

If you can acquire riches without losing your honor and self-respect, then do it. But if you lose what is dearest to you, no amount of money can make up for it. Besides, which would you rather have—money to share with others, or loyal and honest friends? Work to acquire the character of a person who attracts good friends, rather than losing your character to gain riches.

A person who rarely leaves home, who doesn’t converse with, praise, and encourage others, will not attract friends. Everything has its price. How much does lettuce cost? If you are unwilling to pay a dollar for lettuce, yet you envy the man who has a bagful of lettuce because he paid five dollars, you are a fool. Do not imagine he has gained an advantage over you—he has his lettuce, you have your coins. So, if you have not been invited to a party, it is because you haven’t paid the price of the invitation. It costs social engagement, conversation, encouragement, and praise.

Do you have anything good in place of the invitation? Yes—you have the pleasure of not making small talk with people you don’t really like, not praising someone you don’t admire, and not mingling with lackeys.

Now apply this to greater things. If your neighbor’s child or wife dies, you naturally think, “These things happen. We’re all mortal.” But if your own child or wife dies, you cry out in despair—“I wish I’d never been born!” Whenever misfortune befalls you, ask yourself how you would react if it were someone else in the same situation.