My Mind Transformed Completely, and There Were Some Tradeoffs
Sasha Chapin
Long-term meditation can drastically change how you perceive life, making everyday experiences feel more miraculous. Although this transformation offers a lighter emotional state, it does not eliminate normal emotional challenges. It also raises questions about the motivations behind people's actions, as not everyone may desire the same level of awareness.
6 Dec 2024
In spite of what I just said about how serious practitioners do get triggered, it’s also true that the shape of your mind changes such that you are not default worried. And when this happens, you realize that most people are default worried. Like, most people have a free-floating existential worry drive that latches onto any signal that things are going wrong. If you look for it, you will notice that most people you meet have a large amount of background inner tension, as if part of them is constantly screaming internally, and all the other parts are trying to ignore the screaming, or drown it out.
Losing that has some large interpersonal upsides. When you are no longer default worried, you have a lot of inner space to absorb other people’s emotional energy. I feel sometimes that I have a nearly infinite capacity for the emotions and discomforts of others. Sometimes people talk to me about their problems and then apologize for dumping their stuff on me, and I’m like, oh you didn’t hit 10% of my total capacity, would you like to keep talking?
But there is also a really interesting downside, which is that lots of people will find it alienating that you are not default worried. Collectively freaking out about things is a big part of human bonding. People enjoy worrying together, whether it’s about the latest election, or climate change, or the ravages of aging, or the possibility that a big venture will fail—people will share their worries with you, and they want and expect you to be similarly freaked out.