How to Say No: Actual Phrases for Better Boundaries
Chelsey K. Burden
An authentic “heck yes” relies on the occasional “no, thanks”
14 Jan 2023
When you think: maybe
Say, “Let me get back to you.”
Why: You can claim you’re going to check your calendar, and the side benefit is you actually can check your calendar! But ultimately you are giving yourself time to process whether you really want to do something, instead of committing and then backing out.
When you think: no
Say, “I can’t add anything to my plate right now.”
Why: It’s all-encompassing and doesn’t rely on specific excuses. It’s more of a statement about your emotional capacity than your calendar, and that’s valid!
Any time you use a specific excuse, it leaves you vulnerable to endless altered suggestions.
When you think: not now, not ever
Say, “It’s not my thing, but thanks for inviting me.”
Why: It can actually be beneficial to express when something isn’t your style while politely excusing yourself from wasting your time. You are teaching people who you are, what you like, and which kinds of new things you are and aren’t willing to try.